Mark My Words!
When it comes to advice on what’s good for us…lots of luck! Today’s ironclad pronouncements about our health and well-being are tomorrow’s contradictions.
Remember eggs? A few years back, health-conscious people treated eggs as if they were a sinister plot hatched by nefarious chickens to clog our arteries and send us all to early graves. Presumably, once humans had been dispensed with, these foul fowl would then be free to make movies, run government and act really, really stupid at holiday office parties.
Before long, science took a second look at the situation and ruled that, well, eggs maybe aren’t bad for us after all. In fact, they might actually be good!
How about alcohol? Not long ago…bad. Then, probably good for your heart. How about coffee? A powerful stimulant. Addictive. Dangerous. Then…double venti mocha with whipped cream notwithstanding…coffee bounced back as a positive force in contemporary American life and health.
I’m thinking about all this because I just ran across another study that trumpets the special virtues of…chewing gum. That’s right, the very same stuff your third grade teacher made you put on your nose if she caught you chewing it in class is now being touted as a stress reducer, a weight loss tool and a way to focus your mental energies. Not bad for a product that comes from chicle, a derivative of the Mexican sapodilla tree originally intended as a rubber substitute for bicycle tires!
Of course, this particular study was funded by the world’s biggest chewing gum manufacturer, so there might have been just a tad of self-interest in the results turning out positive. Nonetheless, just because someone or some organization benefits from a study doesn’t mean that its results aren’t accurate and true.
That’s why as of this date I am establishing the Mark Goldsmith Properties Institute for the Study of Premium Residential Real Estate Transactions.
Our mandate will be to examine the socio-political-health aspects of listing a special property with the best, most experienced, most successful broker in our very special market.
Wild guess, but I’m betting that after all the numbers are crunched and the in-depth analyses made, we’ll discover that the best decision you can make in maybe your entire life is to call me at (310)200-6697 or drop my offices in the heart of Beverly Hills. Your blood pressure will drop; your cholesterol will plummet; you’ll achieve a Zen-like state of mental acuity. And, you’ll avoid all of the hassles, aggravations and complexities that can make a multi-million dollar deal actually seem like more trouble than it’s worth.
So, down those fried eggs with a cup of java and a Bloody Mary if you like and finish up your meal with a nice stick of gum. Then, come on in to the Mark Goldsmith Properties Institute for Premium Residential real Estate Transactions and we’ll talk.
Just don’t think you’ll get away with sticking your chewing gum under my desk!
